I stood at the kitchen sink, running a thin trickle of water over a bowl, while my eyes mimicked the faucet, flowing tear lines down my cheeks.
There seems to be a heaviness on me lately, and although I feel like I've been complaining about what's been going wrong in my life recently, it just doesn't seem to warrant such dramatic emotional states as the likes of what I've been feeling.
When my man asked me what was wrong, I struggled to find words to describe it. I felt as if my reasons were not good enough to elicit such deep emotions. I pushed through anyway, and did my best to put words on it.
After a month of moving hell, we finally got settled in and two days later the solar power system batteries completely drained, which means we're out of electricity-- going on a week and counting.
It's 98 degrees outside and this ongoing heat wave has me irritable and exhausted.
I have to write an uplifting newsletter article, but all I feel is sad and angry and afraid.
I managed to get those out in raw and savage words and then said, or rather, kicked out of my mouth between sobs:
“And the world is so f----ed up right now!”
Photograph by Brea Fisher
No wonder I've been feeling this way-- the whole world is deeply wounded, confused, angry, and grieving.
With all of the violence that has taken place lately, not only with the recent shootings in the US, but all over the globe, it's not a surprise that our world's people would be struggling with the collective energy of the times.
Even if the reasons you have for feeling low don't weigh in heavy enough to explain your dark mood, it doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with you. It could just mean you are human, one part of a whole that is deeply hurting right now.
I recently watched a moving interview with author, Marianne Williamson, on the topic of the healing power of grief. In it, Marie Forleo, one of my beloved teachers, asks Marianne to discuss some of the important ideas in her new book, Tears to Triumph. I highly recommend watching the full interview, here.
Marianne takes a stance that the mental health of the American people is not something that warrants such rampant pharmaceutical medication. At 19:41 during the interview Marie asks Marianne a question on this idea, and she responds,
“If somebody has their head chopped off in Iraq, but it's on your computer-- you could be in Idaho. You're going to be depressed that day... If you're looking at the world today, and you're not grieving, I don't think you're looking.”
To further travel down this road of collective consciousness, we need to look to the earthly and cosmic energetic forces at play during this time.
Checking in with the Chinese seasonal calendar, we find ourselves here in the Northern hemisphere, in Minor Heat (Xiaoshu Jieqi). Every year has two parts, when describing the aspects of light. In the first half of the year, yang is ascending, the light is growing, and yin is on the decline. In the second half of the year, marked by the transition point of Summer Solstice, yang begins to descend while yin begins its ascent, and the light starts to gradually wane.
Robert Peng describes this seasonal phase as “the rebirth of the shadow.” Judging from current events and the way I've been feeling as a highly sensitive person, I would say this shadow has made a grand re-entrance.
In cosmic terms, astrologically we find ourselves in a time of great transformation. Lena Stevens is another dear teacher of mine, and in her monthly Power Path forecast she describes the energetic climate.
“You may feel triggered, impatient, reactive, emotional, cranky, irritated, out of sorts, discouraged, overwhelmed, defensive, mistrusting, and have a general feeling that nothing is working in your life. There is a pressure to transform something, but the clarity is not there yet. This too shall pass.”
Regarding the collective environment and how this transformative time affects it, Lena states:
“As to nature and the greater planetary environment, look for events that will cause the greatest transformation. These may be sudden and radical and could even be devastating. But they also create the opportunity to bring communities together on a foundation of love and compassion in order to experience a higher emotionally centered time through it all. In this way the fear that may be generated through an experience beyond our control can be transformed into power through love.”
Using Lena Stevens' advice for navigating these times, I challenge you to use the power of love to do your part in inspiring a positive transformation of the shadow energies we have seen bursting forth lately.
I created an audio recording of a guided meditation to help you cultivate your Love Qi.
Sit somewhere in which you can relax and be still for about ten minutes. Put some headphones on if you need to, or just hit play if you're in a quiet place. Make sure you are sitting comfortably with your spine upright, or standing in the wuji position if you prefer standing meditation.
When you have completed the meditation, or if you are unable to listen to the audio recording for any reason, simply do this one powerful step:
Ask yourself what you can do today as an act of self-love and nurturing.
By taking care of yourself, and loving yourself, you light up with Love Qi, which further brightens the collective consciousness.
Commit to completing this one loving act for you, and intend to use it as a way to uplift the world.
Whatever extreme events are taking place in our world, there is always a place of total calm and absolute love. That place is in your heart, and you can tap into it whenever and wherever you want. It is always there if you seek it.
Grief, anger, and fear will come and go like the tide, but Love is ever present and eternally powerful.
This, you can trust. Allow your emotions to arise during this time. Let yourself feel them, take notice, and give self-care through them. And when you have done that, don't wallow and overindulge in them. Move on by thanking them, appreciating your emotions for their messages, and then releasing them.
All is well, my friend. You are love.